


Setting Up (To Fall Away)

by KatMellyn



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged Up, Akaashi has a little brother, Akaashi is Captain, Angst, Bokuto has graduated, But it works better since this is based off a book, Character Death, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I don't like First Person, If I Stay by Gayle Forman, M/M, One Year Later, POV First Person, Seriously SLOW updates, Tags to come as I continue
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-31 03:26:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17841551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatMellyn/pseuds/KatMellyn
Summary: (That occurence proved that while a fantasy is nice, reality may not exactly follow along those lines. My third year self though could look at those fantasies and be thankful that they never actually came true. Those days were irreplaceable to me now. Treasured memories that I could smile at.)What I would give for what happened next though to have remained a fantasy.





	Setting Up (To Fall Away)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This story is based off the book, 'If I Stay' by Gayle Forman. A lot of this was Beta'd by a twitter friend of mine. Thanks so much Ry for the help you gave me on this part. Hopefully you can help me out on the next part as well!

### Chapter 1

Reality and fantasy have always had a bad habit of contradicting themselves. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy my fantasies like most people do, but there’s just something… disappointing… about them when those fantasies actually happen. They just never happen the way I had been anticipating them to. Which more or less ruins the point of them in my opinion.

Take for example one fantasy I indulged in many many times in the expanse of a school day during my second year of high school. Bokuto does not do one childish thing and everything runs smoothly. Our practice is productive, no one is injured, and we’re even allowed to leave thirty minutes early. (When you’re muscles are aching and begging for a reprieve from their exertion, thirty minutes is a long time.) The reality of that fantasy went more like… Bokuto started the afternoon practice with an air of resolve around him. His golden eyes were narrowed in concentration and I thought- “If only he could always be like this,” for a split second before I quickly realized that the reason he was so serious was because he couldn’t remember one of the formations we had been using for almost a week but changed the previous practice. It was going to be a pain in the ass to teach it to him again but it wasn’t something to set off any alarms that my fantasy turned reality differed too much more.

I was sorely mistaken when Bokuto managed to spike a ball straight into Konoha’s head- he was promptly taken to the nurse where they said he had a very mild concussion and would have to take it easy for the rest of the day as well as tomorrow. Just to be on the safe side really because, unfortunately in this case, Bokuto’s spikes were very powerful. To compensate for the interruption this caused (and because the coach was annoyed that Konoha had gotten hurt by Bokuto’s careless aiming) practice was extended an hour. I may or may not have set the ball right at Bokuto’s face….

He should really learn to watch the ball. 

(That occurence proved that while a fantasy is nice, reality may not exactly follow along those lines. My third year self though could look at those fantasies and be thankful that they never actually came true. Those days were irreplaceable to me now. Treasured memories that I could smile at.)

For a time, the only sound in the car was the radio and the excited chattering of my little brother. He had been practically bouncing around the house until it was time to go, eager and falling into the tales of adventure our parents spun. While he continued that bouncing energy in the seat beside mine, I allowed myself to fall into a bit of a daydream over what the next three days would be like. A small road trip heading who knows where ("It's a surprise, Keiji!") with a hyperactive eight year old and parents who prefer city life to outdoor life.... It was bound to be interesting though I didn't have any expectations that it would be as fun as everyone else in the car thought it'd be.

“Katsumi… Calm down. You’re not going to make anything happen sooner by acting like _The Flash_.” Calling him out on his favorite superhero normally caused him to shoot me a sheepish glare but this time all he did was turn to me and give me a blinding smile that reminded me far too much of Bokuto when he had gotten a particularly good spike in. 

“But this is the first trip I’ve been on with you in ages, Kei-nii!” Well then. If that exclamation right there caused me to ruffle those dark wisps of hair, no one would know but me and him. There was a reason I was good at handling Bokuto… and there was a reason I was also quick to cave in to Bokuto as well. Him and Katsumi were very alike. "I can’t wait! What do you want to do first?“ 

So we talked back and forth over the things that we would like to do- either alone or with one another- while our parents tossed in their opinions every so often. It wasn’t as annoying as I had thought it would be, nor was it the quiet ride I had expected it to be, but it was one of the best rides I had ever had with them. And as Katsumi’s energy finally started to crash I knew I couldn’t hold back the soft smile I felt pulling at my lips when he leaned against me. Even when my parents gave that mildly annoying ‘awww'ing sound from the front that caused my cheeks to heat up, I knew that I would never trade this moment in for anything. 

What I would give for what happened next though to have remained a fantasy.

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Have you ever watched a movie where the main protagonist was driving down the road and all of a sudden the picture starts to show itself in slow motion? You watch every single second as that car is slammed into from the side, the glass sailing through the air as if it was rain, and a play by play of every emotion crossing their face. You hear the sound and think- there’s no way that’s the sound it makes; it sounds like metal being shoved into a blender set to mince. 

I was one of those that thought that sound was fake. I can’t seem to get that sound to stop ringing in my ears. 

Anyway, in the movie the main protagonist is wearing their seatbelt and since they’re the whole reason you’re watching the movie in the first place they can’t die. So they’re pretty much unhurt except for a few strategically placed cuts on their arms and maybe their hair is a little less tidy but it’s still pretty much perfect and you can’t help but think that that’s what it would be like in real life. Movies- fantasies- have a way of turning reality into something a little less painful…. But they’re not real. A fact that we always forget- or purposely try to remain ignorant to- until it comes and rears us in the ass. 

Literally, in our case. 

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Katsumi had just fallen asleep and I was going to try and move him before he drooled on me until I realized how much effort it would take to keep him from waking. I figured it would be fine even if he did. We shared the same DNA and with him being half my age… Yea. There was no way he had nabbed himself something unsavory (especially since I hadn’t even lost mine yet). That was when I noticed the snow starting to fall and part of me wanted to wake up Katsumi so that he wouldn’t miss the sight. My mother read my mind though and just told me to let him sleep. 

“He’s been so excited he’s had trouble falling asleep.” Blinking my eyes at her in surprise, I wondered how I hadn’t noticed this until I realized that these past couple of weeks, I had pretty much gone home and took my butt straight to bed. One time I had been so tired I forgot to take a bath before I fell asleep. That had been rectified immediately though it had made me late for morning practice. 

Somehow Bokuto found out about my tardiness and he blew up my phone with those annoying laughing emoticons.

> _If you send me one more message with that ridiculous face, I will block your number and ensure that you are not allowed back on the school grounds for any form of practice._

Bokuto shut up fairly quickly after that text had been sent and even to this day he has refrained from sending me one of those stupid looking emoticons.

Right now I wished he would send me one of those faces and tell me that this was all a joke. A big elaborate hoax they had all gotten together on… But this wasn’t a joke and it was definitely not funny. I don’t remember exactly what happened, at least not in the order it happened- or if it had even happened at all. Maybe this was all just a dream. Maybe my fantasy just took a turn for the negative because of how stressed I had been lately.

My mothers scream echoing with the sound of metal grinding together, blending together in a far from harmonious way, disproved the notion that I was asleep. I watched her body jerked forward before the airbag popped out and pushed her back again; the red that covered that wide white surface made my eyes widen in fear. That was when I realized… we were hit. Our car was hit and the snow on the roads was just slippery enough that we lost traction and with another scream- was it from me? Katsumi? My dad maybe?- the car flipped. Katsumi was no longer by my side. A horrible thought slid into my disoriented brain, a thought that I should have considered long ago when we first got in the car. 

_Had Katsumi buckled his seat belt?_

Twice more the car flipped, sliding to a stop with a horrible screech of metal on asphalt that left my ears ringing. The world was spinning, a dizzying haze of motion that left me reeling, and I allowed the ringing to lull me into unconsciousness. The silence of the darkness was a comfort that I couldn’t resist. As much as I wanted to get up and find my parents, find Katsumi, I couldn’t get my body to cooperate so I let myself to fall into the dark embrace with only one last question passing through my mind:

_Had I been wearing mine?_

When I came to, the darkness wasn’t what greeted me. Flashing blue and red lights, the piercing sound of an ambulance- I think there was more than one; either that or my ears were still ringing pretty badly- and many people running around. How long I had been out I didn’t know but I knew I had to find my parents. They’d do the parent thing and wrap me in their arms and reassure me that everything was okay. It didn’t matter that I was almost half a year away from going off to college; they would do it anyway because they would need to and I needed them too. Then we’d get Katsumi and just hold each other and everything would work out fine. 

Just like it did in the movies.

It didn’t even occur to me that I had woken up outside the car until I was walking to my mother. My mother who was staring out the broken windshield of the car with glassy eyes, something that was not what I had been expecting. She didn’t react to my touch, she didn’t react to me shaking and crying, screaming her name, begging her to just. wake. up…. She was dead and I would never be able to hear her goading me into waking up in the morning with a well placed bribe of food. Never again would I be able to hear her call my name with a tone of exasperated fondness when I left my volleyball gear in the living room after a particularly tiring practice…. Tears filled my eyes and I let them fall. Nobody would care that a teenage boy was crying when he just saw the body of his mother…. At that point I didn’t care about why I had woken up outside. 

Where was my father? 

Stepping away from the vehicle- I only just realized the damage that had been done to it; the car would have to be taken apart for my mother's body to be recovered- I looked around for my dad. He’d be devastated when he found out…. He’d need me there. We’d band together, me, him, and Katsumi and we would get through it. But first I had to find him. Then we would both find Katsumi. Everything would be okay… 

That hope died as soon as it was born. A poor analogy considering the circumstances at the moment, but an accurate one. One that left my heart feeling hollow. 

“Dad…” My voice was barely a whisper. There was no way it could be heard over the ever growing flurry of snow cascading down in a torrent. “Daddy…” I hadn’t called him daddy since I was a child and regret slammed into me immediately. Just because I was embarrassed about calling him in such a girly way… He had always looked so happy every single time I called him Daddy. Every time. No matter what he had always looked like I had just given him the world. Mom said once that that was the face my dad had when I was born. 

“Your father wanted a family. He wanted children he could cherish and who would cherish him back. Everytime you call him Daddy, I think it reminds him that… his wish was granted and he’s so thankful every single time.” 

But he wouldn’t be giving me that look anymore. Already it was too late to start calling him Daddy. He wouldn’t be able to hear me. Just like mom… A shaky cry escaped my lips. Why did he die too?! What would Katsumi- 

Katsumi! Where was Katsumi! 

Swiveling my head to and fro, I ran forward, just searching for my little brother. Katsumi with his baby soft hair and chubby cheeks. Katsumi with his light tan skin and mega-watt smiles. Katsumi who called my name “Kei-nii!” as if I was one of the most important people in the world. Katsumi… who was all I had left.

Where was he?

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think with some likes and comments please! It'll really help motivate me to write this. I'm hoping to have the next chapter up within the next two weeks but life is really hectic a lot of the time so please be patient! :)


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